I think one of the most frustrating things and interesting things about practicing martial arts is that are always new challenges. Having acquired a skill in one area does not always seem to seamlessly transfer to another area of practice. There always seem to be something put before you that is difficult to get right. Lately, my list of things I need to work on, things that don’t seem to come natural continues to grow, rather than shrink.

My teacher’s advice for this tends to be this: Pick one thing and work on that. Often training that one thing will automatically raise other skills along with it.  Now I do not think he means practice this one thing to the exclusion of all else.  But he does mean to pick one thing and really focus on it.  This is good advice. I need to take it to heart more but sometimes it is difficult to narrow it down to that one most important thing but I have decided and now need the discipline to stick with it.

And so, as I find with virtually everything in my martial arts training, I can take this idea of picking out one thing and really working on it into my life. What one thing in my everyday life needs the most improvement? If I work on that, will other things naturally improve along with it? I think that one is for certain.

Better get busy.

Each week at my kung fu school, my teacher conducts weekly lectures that are referred to as meditation class because at the end of the talk we sit and meditate for about 15 minutes.  Sometimes we ask questions during these talks and recently one came up about how can meditation help you deal with recovery from alcoholism. Apparently, meditation is part of the 12 step AA program which I hadn’t realized.  Interesting.

It got me thinking about my own former addiction with cigarrettes. Almost 10 years ago I used smoke about a pack a day for more years than I care to recall.  I was really addicted both physically and mentally to those damn cigarettes. Then one day I found myself getting up from dinner out with friends so I could go outside and have my smoke. More and more that was happening as people were really starting to frown on smoking even when sitting in a smoking section if there was one.  So it didn’t matter if it was 20 degrees outside - out I would go disrupting a nice little get together to feed my addiction. Looking back my non smoking friends must have thought me ridiculous. Or ridiculously weak. What woke me up though was the fact that I realized cigarrettes were in control of me - they were the boss. I was a slave to my addiction. That is when I made up my mind to stop. Of course, I knew it was bad for my health and that was always in my guilty mind as I puffed away but that is what an addiction typically is isn’t it? Doing something despite the fact that you know it is harmful to you and doing it anyway.

So I quit and it was HARD. Really hard. I couldn’t imagine getting through the day much less the rest of my life without cigarettes. So I took it literally one minute at a time. When I got the urge to smoke, I delayed that feeling by exercising.  Often I would find that if I could delay the urge and put my mind on something else, it would pass. I was also replacing a bad habit with a good one. When I couldn’t exercise because I was at work, for example, I constantly had a bottle of water at my side and I drank tons of it. I actually lost weight instead of gaining it. This brought me into a whole new healthier life style and about a month later I took my first martial arts class and that was truly the end of my addiction.

You see now I was this person who was fit and health minded. Now I was amongst people who strived for self discipline not self indulgence. I became someone very different from the smoker I used to be. I quit and stayed quit, unlike my husband who did not make lifestyle changes, and slipped back a number of times. To this day, he still craves a smoke sometimes. I can honestly say I never even think about it.

Certainly, my kung fu classes helped because on a very basic level I would not have been able to keep up if I was still puffing away and I really wanted to do my best.  However, back then I didn’t meditate much and had I had this tool as well I know it would have really helped. Meditation helps train your mind to be in more control over your thoughts - exactly what the addicted person needs to stay off the drugs, alchohol whatever once the physical cravings have passed.  Sitting in meditation and working through those urges by focusing on the breath would been another way to work through those urges until they no longer held the same power. My breathing exercises also showed me how much damage had been done and how much rebuilding was necessary.

Martial arts can be helpful on so many unexpected levels. I really admire the woman who had the courage to ask the question in class and I immediately had a deep respect for the transformation she is clearly working towards undergoing. I have little doubt that her chances for success are greatly increased thanks to her martial arts training. Good for her!

Have you kicked an addiction? If so, how did you do it? Please share your story.

Happy Holidays to you!

Another year has nearly come to an end. Like many of you, I can’t help but look back and do a little reflecting. Was it a good year? A bad one? I try not to put things into neat little categories so much anymore.  Nothing is really ever that black and white anyway is it?

I look back at the year gone by and see growth. All sorts of seeds have been sown by all of us. Some of those seeds are going to sprout weeds and some of them beautiful flowers.  It think we probably need some weeds so we can appreciate the flowers.

I also see patterns repeating. Maybe some details have changed but in essence unless we truly have changed something inside of ourselves we seem to have recurring themes in our lives. Have you ever noticed that? My teacher would say we keep having an experience until we no longer need to be having it.

There is little point to reflecting on the year gone by unless it is to take stock to help give us direction going forward. Goal setting is good. But only if we stay true to the course.  We won’t necessarily achieve every one of our goals because life inevitably will throw us a few curve balls along the way but developing the self discipline to try to follow through as best we are able is part of what our martial arts training is all about - as is being able to “be like water” and adapt to change as needed.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a quick shout out to Lucy Wiggins. I hope all goes well in your new endeavor into kung fu.

1. I sometimes will change into my uniform or at least a part of it like the pants to try to put me in the frame of mind simiar to when I am at class. It’s sort of like taking off your fuzzy slippers and bathrobe and putting on something decent to sit down and work from home.
2. I do laundry or clean the bathroom. Practicing quickly starts to look better and better.
3. I put on a little ”Kung Fu Fighting.”  Well no…not really. In fact, I really can’t stand that song but figured you’d be expecting that one and didn’t want to disappoint.
4. I make a deal with myself just to get my warm ups done. Once I’ve finished, that usually is enough to get things going even on low energy days to get some additional practice time in.
5. If I really am not up for practicing physically (injured, really sore, sick whatever) I use some of the time I would have spent physically practicing on doing some extra mental side like meditating or visualizing. In fact, visualizing yourself going through a form or something that you find difficult and picturing yourself doing it well can be quite helpful. Scientific studies show that going through these “mental gymnastics” actually cause the same muscles to fire as if you were actually doing the activity.

Basically, on those days when you are just not in the mood are the days where you also get practice some self discipline by doing it anyway. Easier said then done but if you wanted easy - well this aint’ it.

What do you do when you know you should practice but just aren’t in the mood?

Well I just got back yesterday from a really great experience. I went on a retreat with my kung fu classmates and teacher for the weekend.  We started out the evening going into the woods to find a spot that “called” to us and got sat for awhile. Our mission was to really take note of our surroundings including sounds, smells, sights how we felt while sitting completely quietly. We also needed to explain why we picked that particular spot and needed be able to find it again as we would be returning there early the next morning.  Each time we did this we wrote about our experience. So after that first afternoon, it was then onto a quiet dinner and then working out for a couple of hours. We did some great partner work that got our blood going and did some really good focused, repetitive kung fu. Loved it. We then went to sit quietly outside on some benches in the dark. It was COLD let me tell you.  After a while, body temperature cools down and you felt it.  I had to do the breathing techniques I was taught that I know also helps me to keep warm to keep warm. It worked though. I was cold but never shivering.

Up at 5:45 and awoke to very cold morning. Not easy to sit at our spots for an hour but we all did it. It was worthwhile in a way that is difficult to convey if you never really sat in nature listening to the natural rhythms.  Really tuning in to the animals, the change from dark to light the sound of your own breath. It is not my intention to get overly personal here with what my own thoughts were while I sat. I can only encourage you to try it and discover what it is like to fully plug in to your senses. You see we did have periods where we did meditation on the retreat but this was more about awareness training. Fully engaging your mind.  More on the kung fu retreat to come…