How do we live a life with no regrets?

Do we try to live a life free of mistakes? Impossible. We will make them. No question. To err is human and all that.  

I think it has to do with giving 100% to whatever you do. Those times when I know I’ve truly done that are some of my best moments in my life. Even if things don’t turn out just as you hoped at least you know did all you could.  Maybe you are testing for the next level. Rather than focusing on that next promotion in whatever discipline of martial arts you practice, what if your only thought was to go full out? Then you know, at the end as you sit there sweaty and exhausted you did what you could. The rest won’t matter so much.  Even if you don’t pass…what more could you have done? 

Yet people tend to get complacent. Seems it is just human nature to take the people and things in our lives that are seemingly constant and take them for granted. It takes awareness and self discpline not to just go through our days like little robots. Always expecting to get a second chance at it all the next day.

I remember when my father died after being diagnosed with cancer only 2 weeks before. I looked back at my time with him and thought…I am so glad that he knew just how much I loved him.  By the same token, I knew how much he loved me. I remember him saying to me towards the end “I should have told you I loved you more often.” I said “Dad, you told me everyday - you just didn’t always use words.”  I knew the same was true of me - I may not have said it all the time but I showed it in many ways. I had no regrets on that one - I appreciated him while he was alive and was not plagued with “I should haves”. And that was something that got me through a very difficult time.

So what is the cure for regret? What is the antedote? Just go all out each and every day. Appreciate the people in your life.  Show them you love them. Smile at strangers in the elevators and make their day a little nicer fo having passed through with you even for a few moments.

Look around you. Notice things, feel them, listen to them, taste them and embrace them. It is all we can do. We can’t go back and change what has already happened and we can’t control what is going to happen so we might as well get all we can out of this very moment. 

And one day, we hopefully we will look back and say whatever happened…I truly lived.  No regrets.

Most people begin taking martial arts classes for one of two reasons…they want to get into shape or they want to learn to defend themselves. But what most don’t realize is that while getting your butt kicked you learn alot about yourself and what you are made of. You end up leaving your ego (along with some blood, sweat and tears) on the floor and it is just you in your raw form trying to not to get punched, pushed or kicked. Yes, it sounds a bit brutal but no worries, you’ve got gear on. A good partner won’t be trying to take you out and I am surrounded by good people at my school luckily for me. In fact, my teacher emphasizes “partners not opponents” but I digress.

So back to getting my butt kicked…you see I am new to sparring and am working on my defense while trying to figure out how to get in a few hit of my own.  During the process of this early learning stage I get a bit pummelled sometimes. So feeling like I am back in grade school with a bully on my back can be a bit frustrating. But that is part of the point. You need to learn to keep your head, your wits about you and not get all emotional over it.  You see, there lies in the difference between doing yogo or pilates and doing kung fu. It pushes you to your physical and emotional limits and forces you to tap into inner reserves to keep going.

Martial arts, taught by a good teacher, is about destruction of the ego and at the same time teaches you to face adversity inside the safe walls of the dojo (dojang). So when you get out into the real world, you take with you the lessons you’ve learned and are able to apply them when things get tough.

And if you are over the age of 10, you know how tough life can get. Why not be prepared?