First, just a little background on this post. I was glancing through some past posts and something struck me,  something that has bothered me about this blog of mine right from the start. You see when I began this little writing venture I knew I had taken the easy way out when describing my foray into the martial arts.  I just sort of glossed over it because I guess I wasn’t that comfortable with the idea of being too upfront.

So before I go onto other subjects. I’m going to fix that and come clean.  Maybe this is needed to better understand why I have embraced the practice to the degree I have and maybe it is needed so I let go of some of that ego. Little bits at a time.  Most of all though, I hope it helps some other women out there who feel like I did and think there is little hope or no help. I want to tell you there is nothing like helping yourself.

I had originally said I never had any real desire to take martial arts growing up. Well that is true because I had probably little or not exposure to it. Then one day I read a book that described a women doing T’ai Chi. The description of the movements were so beautiful, fluid and graceful I thought to myself “I want to learn how to do that.”  Pretty dull confession so far I know. Hang in there it gets more interesting I promise. 

Well I did not immediately act on it but I kept that imagery with me. Then one day when I had one too many days of not feeling well. I mean I felt like crap. I was getting these strange pains throughout my body, I felt tired and sick.  I finally got diagnosed with something called fibromyalgia (I mention this strictly because some other women might relate - I do not categorize myself because of it) and when I asked what I could do to start feeling better the doctor shrugged said there wasn’t much I could do there is no “cure”. He took out his little perscription pad and offered me no solution other than to pop a pill in my mouth. For how long I wondered? Forever? Thanks doc - but no thanks. I got up and left. He looked a bit pissed. I didn’t care. 

You see I was in my early thirties and at the time and the idea of popping pills for the rest of my life just didn’t do it for me. So I got in my car and thought long and hard. You see this was about the 3rd of 4th doctor and still no relief in sight.  What was I going to do?  One thing was clear - what I tried so far wasn’t the answer. I spoke with my sister and all I can say is thank goodness for her. She mentioned she knew someone who tried alternative medicine and it helped. Hmmm…  the idea of natural remedies was definitely more appealing. I didn’t waste any time. That day I was started looking around for someone who practiced natural medicine. I ended up at a place that I quickly deemed an elaborate money making operation that preyed upon people like me.  Another dead end.

So things weren’t looking so good. Then I remembered that book I read. I remembered reading T’ai Chi was supposed to good to alleviate stress and I was feeling plenty of that.  Figuring I had nothing to lose I went on line and found a martial arts school that taught Tai Chi.  I took my first lesson that very same day. I  really enjoyed the class. After about 4 or 6 months I began taking kung fu classes at my teacher’s suggestion. He thought it would be good for me to go out there and really exert myself, let go and sweat. 

Back to that first kung fu class. I have to tell you the thought of trying it made me nervous. Who wants to risk making a fool out of him or herself?  But then I thought I can’t let a lack of confidence or a fear of failure stop me from something that might be really great experience.  What if it turns out to be really good for me or something I really love?  So I took my first class and I was hooked right from the start.

That was nearly 10 years ago now and I can’t think of too many other decisions that I made in my life that had such a positive impact on my life.

Martial Arts Retreat

Well it has been too long since I last posted and am feeling guilty but guilt is such a wasted emotion I will quickly move on to tell you more about my retreat.

It was about 40 degrees out when we gathered together at 6:30 a.m. sharp to go sit in the woods and do some awareness meditation. It was our job to locate where we sat the prior day and settle in for a good hour of connecting with nature. What does this have to do with kung fu training you may ask?

Good question. The answer is quite a lot actually and on several levels at least from my own perspective. First off, by sitting quietly alone in the woods you start to reconnect with nature. The rhythms, the sounds, the animals slowly emerging and the changing of the light. I love to observe the trees and always find so many analogies to them with people.  Some so tall and strong, others with broken branches yet still surviving. Some are dead and yet still manage to stand up and be counted as if they are still alive when inside they are  really dead. Some people are like that don’t you think? Standing there really only a shell yet outwardly they appear to be amongst the living? Ok, I’m off on a tangent just a bit…

Anyway, by sitting out there and experiencing the elements, primarily the cold in this case, you begin to realize how powerful nature really is. The cold can kill you. No, I’m not claiming my life was in any danger but you do start realize and appreciate nature’s potential. It can kill you with cold and keep you warm with the sun. Let me tell you how good that sun felt when it finally came out and I stepped out into a clearing an hour later. I just drank in the warmth of the sun and the feeling it had on my face. Now, do you think that would have felt the same to me if I had just stepped out of a heated cabin? No way.

You see you realize how you really cut yourself off from all of this when you spend too much of your time indoors. It makes us soft doesn’t it? Discomfort, dealing with it and truly experiencing it makes us feel not only more alive but it toughens us up. Yes, it’s cold and yes, I’m dealing with it.

You start to see how this might relate to martial arts classes can’t you? When you are on the floor toughing it out - you are feeling something. You are getting past that feeling (hopefully) of “this is too difficult. I can’t, I can’t”.  You see, martial arts is just a microcosm of the real world. What you experience in the dojang is really analogous to what goes on in the real world.  The dojang is supposed to be a “place of enlightenment”.  This is your opportunity to work on yourself.  So that when you step outside into the world you are better prepared to deal with challenges. In this case, my “dojang” or “dojo” as some call it, was nature and while sitting there I got just a bit more enlightened and connected to my world. 

By sitting there, paying attention to every sight, sound, smell, feeling and even taste you stop tuning out the world and start plugging into it. By actively trying to use all my senses, I could see how helpful this might be in a self defense situation.  If I rely not just on what I see or hear but all my senses don’t I increase my changes of noticing something is “wrong” before it happens?

My teacher has said that when they interview victims of crime, they often say they “sensed” something was wrong but ignored the feeling.  Awareness training helps you develop the ability to not only detect things that might otherwise go unnoticed but also PAY ATTENTION to them. If you “feel something just isn’t right,” go the other way. Whatever you were going to do just isn’t that important.  Pay attention to your surroundings and listen to your gut, not your brain, if something doesn’t seem right.  You see the first rule of self defense training is awareness. Get yourself out before you find yourself in a bad situation.

Well, I hope you got something useful out of this post. I’d love to hear from others about their own experiences either sitting in nature or when they encountered a self defense situation or attack where it was preceding by a feeling of foreboding.

Today is a beautiful day outside. The sky is blue and sprinkled with some wispy clouds. There is a strong, cool breeze and the sun is shining. What more can you ask for? Just taking some time to notice and enjoy things like that is part of my martial arts training. Part of my mindfulness training. I would always notice a beautiful day but now I stop and look at the world more consciously and with a different perspective than before. 

We are going into fall ,according the calendar, and I am entering the fall (or perhaps it has already arrived) of my life and this changes your perspective as well.  “Don’t take your days for granted they are getting in numbered” my mind reminds me if my body does not. 

Funny when we are young it is hard to imagine ourselves getting old yet I can see the changes as I look in the mirror. But the changes occuring inside are more powerful fortunately. There is more to me than what I can see with my eyes. My kung fu classes are helping me build a stronger body and mind.

I never had any real desire to take martial arts growing up. I mean like most people I guess I thought it looked cool but, probably like many women, I never actually pictured myself doing it.  [Editor's Note: This section was glossed over a bit and so later inspired another post - check out "The Real Reason I began taking Martial Arts" post for a more accurate representation of this story.]  Who would have guessed years later I would not only be doing exactly that but wanting to write about my experiences as well.

I’m a busy woman with a husband, kids and a job. So what is it that inspires me to take the time not just to practice martial arts but to want to share it with others? Well you see,  I don’t just “do martial arts” I have a real passion for it. It is a way of life for those who embrace the philosophy behind it.  The practice, simply put, has transformed me into a better, happier and more fulfilled person.

I can’t say that about many other things I’ve done in my life. Can you?

So stay tuned and drop by often.  You just might read something that changes your perspective on how you see the world - I know it did mine.