I recently came across something I found really interesting.  It was an article that talked about how you can keep fish apart in a large tank without any actual barriers.  First you put up glass partitions. After a little while the glass partitions can be removed. The fish swim to the edge of where the glass partitions were and return.  They made a commitment that that’s as far as they can go.

That last line really caught my attention,

“They made a commitment that that’s as far as they can go.”

Wow, how often do we do just that? Without ever being consciously aware of it we put up mental barriers and then tell ourselves this is as far we can go. And so we find ourselves in a self fulfilling prophecy. The reality of the situation and our perception of it have little to do with one another.

It all boils down to our beliefs. If we think we are not capable, we are not.  But is the opposite true? If we think we are capable, are we? Well once upon a time when I was a little girl I was convinced I could fly if I only tried hard enough.  I would go up high and then jump over and over again. As you might guess, it didn’t quite work out as I had hoped but one thing is for certain, our chances of success increase dramatically when we think we can.

What we perceive to be true may in fact, be completely false.  There was an interesting study done along the same lines in India.  When they train their elephants, they take a baby elephant and tie it to a large tree with an iron chain.  Then they start reducing the size of the chain and cutting down the tree. Eventually, you can tie the elephant which now nearly fully grown with a flimsy rope to small tree but the elephant is unable to escape. It’s made a commitment in its body-mind that it’s imprisoned! That is a pretty powerful example of how perception and reality can have little in common.

How often in our lives are we held prisoner by our own beliefs?  How often in our martial arts training do we tell ourselves we cannot go any further and so limit our own abilities? Do we commit to failure?  Surrender needlessly when the reality is we are capable of so much more?

Over the past few months, my confidence in my abilities has been waning.  I keep telling myself I need to practice more and that is true. Yet maybe, I need to tune into my inner voice. How much of my recent lack of development has to do with practice and how much of it has to do with my growing belief that I am just not good enough? Am I that fish that swims to the edge and returns because it thinks it can go no further? Responding to a barrier that only exists in my mind?

I will think of those fish next time I am convinced I have reached my limitations and try to remember that perception and reality can bear little resemblance to one another.

Keep swimming!

Happy New Year!

I recently read an article about how a Grandmaster of the Israeli martial art, Krav Maga, came to give advanced training to some students in NJ, where he seemed to focus more on which of the 4 main organizations of Krav Maga is the true successor of Imi Lichtenfeld than he did on the students he was there to teach. Lots of infighting and arguing seemed to be going on,  “They all say they are the originals,” Gidon fumed, through a translator. “But if you say you are the originals, show us your proof!”

Certainly lineage is an important part of any martial art but this attitude of being adversaries with one another, of needing to “prove” something, is really the antithesis of my own understanding of what true martial arts is about. The philosophy behind the martial arts, as it is has been taught to me, is about trying to take the higher ground, to lift others up; not tear them down.

Martial arts philosophy places emphasis on qualities such as self-control, respect for others, a calm and peaceful disposition. Authentic martial arts training teaches the concept of oneness, and therefore we want good things for others. It is said that when one becomes a true martial artist, they have no need to fight others to prove anything. Through years of meditative practice and physical training, the practictioner becomes physically, mentally and emotionally strong enough to have no need for fighting. When there is no ego, there is nothing left to defend in the spiritual sense at least. That alone eliminates so many instances where one might find themselves tempted to engage in a verbal or physical fight. So when the only thing left is the genuine need to defend your physical self, you are well equipped to do so when there is no other alternative. 

In addition to my own Shifu’s teachings, he shares with us a program called “Lessons in Mindfulness” by Sifu Robert Brown. I have found this to be very helpful in facilitiating my understanding of the philosophy behind the martial arts. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting him once and he was filled with positive energy and generosity of spirit in wanting to share his outlook on the philosophy of martial arts. I’m sure he has helped many a student with this aspect of their practice.

Think you are aware of what is going on? It’s so easy not to pay attention to what is going on around us -but why? Well, first of all it takes focus to be aware. You cannot be lost in your own thoughts and be truly paying attention to everything going on around you.  Secondly I think, depending on where you live, we are lulled into a false sense of security. Generally speaking, most of us can walk around or drive somewhere in our car and expect to arrive at our destination safely. Yet, it is easy to miss something if we aren’t paying attention and how keen your awareness skills are can make a real difference. After all, we all know that life can change in an instant. Best to keep your wits about you. 

So how aware are you? Think you are pretty good? Why not check out this video for a minute and take a the  Awareness Test  then come right back and let me know how you did.

Kind of fun right? Part of being aware of your surrounding is the ability to see all but not focus on any one thing in particular. I find that for me to do this takes real focus. Our tendency seems to be to look at specific things yet with time I think this can become enough of a habit that we can take more in of the world at a glance.

So why is it important to be aware? Well for self defense is one obvious reason. Pretty much any martial arts school you attend will teach you that being aware is the first line of self defense. The more aware we are of our surroundings, the less likely we will be surprised to find ourselves in a bad situation. 

Often we get nagging feelings when something isn’t right yet we eithe tune them out or let our intellect talk us out of heeding that inner voice. But that is a whole nother topic isn’t it? Tuning into that little voice often called intuition. Look for more on that topic in the future.

Sometimes when I saw people younger than myself in class, particularly someone who I know started taking martial arts as a child, I would think how lucky they were to have begun training their bodies at such a young age. I would reflect on the fact that if I were younger, I too would be a little faster, stronger and more flexible. 

Yet, recently I am realizing there is a flip side to all of that. I think because I did start at an older age (in my thirties), that I did have something working in my favor. I had the maturity to appreciate the practice at a level that I might not if I had joined at a much younger age. I can listen the philosophy behind the martial arts and I am easily able to see it can help me in my everyday life partially because I can draw upon my own pool of experiences. I have had the great fortune to have enough mistakes under my belt that I can step back and see what areas I need to work on in my life.  Those years reveal patterns in my thinking and actions making it easy to clearly what behavior has served me well and what has not.

I have some people at my place of dojang who are many years senior to me in age and let me tell you, every one of them is an inspiration and an example to the rest of us.  I don’t think there is an age where you are too old for martial arts.  I just think the experience you will have will just be different.  No doubt, due to their more advanced age, there are some unique frustrations and bodily limitations, but just think of the wealth of life experience those people can bring into their practice!

If I am ever in need of some martial arts inspiration, I only need to look to those people at my dojang who are practicing in their fifties, sixties and even seventies. I am both humbled and grateful to be practicing with them.

How do we live a life with no regrets?

Do we try to live a life free of mistakes? Impossible. We will make them. No question. To err is human and all that.  

I think it has to do with giving 100% to whatever you do. Those times when I know I’ve truly done that are some of my best moments in my life. Even if things don’t turn out just as you hoped at least you know did all you could.  Maybe you are testing for the next level. Rather than focusing on that next promotion in whatever discipline of martial arts you practice, what if your only thought was to go full out? Then you know, at the end as you sit there sweaty and exhausted you did what you could. The rest won’t matter so much.  Even if you don’t pass…what more could you have done? 

Yet people tend to get complacent. Seems it is just human nature to take the people and things in our lives that are seemingly constant and take them for granted. It takes awareness and self discpline not to just go through our days like little robots. Always expecting to get a second chance at it all the next day.

I remember when my father died after being diagnosed with cancer only 2 weeks before. I looked back at my time with him and thought…I am so glad that he knew just how much I loved him.  By the same token, I knew how much he loved me. I remember him saying to me towards the end “I should have told you I loved you more often.” I said “Dad, you told me everyday - you just didn’t always use words.”  I knew the same was true of me - I may not have said it all the time but I showed it in many ways. I had no regrets on that one - I appreciated him while he was alive and was not plagued with “I should haves”. And that was something that got me through a very difficult time.

So what is the cure for regret? What is the antedote? Just go all out each and every day. Appreciate the people in your life.  Show them you love them. Smile at strangers in the elevators and make their day a little nicer fo having passed through with you even for a few moments.

Look around you. Notice things, feel them, listen to them, taste them and embrace them. It is all we can do. We can’t go back and change what has already happened and we can’t control what is going to happen so we might as well get all we can out of this very moment. 

And one day, we hopefully we will look back and say whatever happened…I truly lived.  No regrets.