I recently came across something I found really interesting.  It was an article that talked about how you can keep fish apart in a large tank without any actual barriers.  First you put up glass partitions. After a little while the glass partitions can be removed. The fish swim to the edge of where the glass partitions were and return.  They made a commitment that that’s as far as they can go.

That last line really caught my attention,

“They made a commitment that that’s as far as they can go.”

Wow, how often do we do just that? Without ever being consciously aware of it we put up mental barriers and then tell ourselves this is as far we can go. And so we find ourselves in a self fulfilling prophecy. The reality of the situation and our perception of it have little to do with one another.

It all boils down to our beliefs. If we think we are not capable, we are not.  But is the opposite true? If we think we are capable, are we? Well once upon a time when I was a little girl I was convinced I could fly if I only tried hard enough.  I would go up high and then jump over and over again. As you might guess, it didn’t quite work out as I had hoped but one thing is for certain, our chances of success increase dramatically when we think we can.

What we perceive to be true may in fact, be completely false.  There was an interesting study done along the same lines in India.  When they train their elephants, they take a baby elephant and tie it to a large tree with an iron chain.  Then they start reducing the size of the chain and cutting down the tree. Eventually, you can tie the elephant which now nearly fully grown with a flimsy rope to small tree but the elephant is unable to escape. It’s made a commitment in its body-mind that it’s imprisoned! That is a pretty powerful example of how perception and reality can have little in common.

How often in our lives are we held prisoner by our own beliefs?  How often in our martial arts training do we tell ourselves we cannot go any further and so limit our own abilities? Do we commit to failure?  Surrender needlessly when the reality is we are capable of so much more?

Over the past few months, my confidence in my abilities has been waning.  I keep telling myself I need to practice more and that is true. Yet maybe, I need to tune into my inner voice. How much of my recent lack of development has to do with practice and how much of it has to do with my growing belief that I am just not good enough? Am I that fish that swims to the edge and returns because it thinks it can go no further? Responding to a barrier that only exists in my mind?

I will think of those fish next time I am convinced I have reached my limitations and try to remember that perception and reality can bear little resemblance to one another.

Keep swimming!

I think one of the most frustrating things and interesting things about practicing martial arts is that are always new challenges. Having acquired a skill in one area does not always seem to seamlessly transfer to another area of practice. There always seem to be something put before you that is difficult to get right. Lately, my list of things I need to work on, things that don’t seem to come natural continues to grow, rather than shrink.

My teacher’s advice for this tends to be this: Pick one thing and work on that. Often training that one thing will automatically raise other skills along with it.  Now I do not think he means practice this one thing to the exclusion of all else.  But he does mean to pick one thing and really focus on it.  This is good advice. I need to take it to heart more but sometimes it is difficult to narrow it down to that one most important thing but I have decided and now need the discipline to stick with it.

And so, as I find with virtually everything in my martial arts training, I can take this idea of picking out one thing and really working on it into my life. What one thing in my everyday life needs the most improvement? If I work on that, will other things naturally improve along with it? I think that one is for certain.

Better get busy.

Think you are aware of what is going on? It’s so easy not to pay attention to what is going on around us -but why? Well, first of all it takes focus to be aware. You cannot be lost in your own thoughts and be truly paying attention to everything going on around you.  Secondly I think, depending on where you live, we are lulled into a false sense of security. Generally speaking, most of us can walk around or drive somewhere in our car and expect to arrive at our destination safely. Yet, it is easy to miss something if we aren’t paying attention and how keen your awareness skills are can make a real difference. After all, we all know that life can change in an instant. Best to keep your wits about you. 

So how aware are you? Think you are pretty good? Why not check out this video for a minute and take a the  Awareness Test  then come right back and let me know how you did.

Kind of fun right? Part of being aware of your surrounding is the ability to see all but not focus on any one thing in particular. I find that for me to do this takes real focus. Our tendency seems to be to look at specific things yet with time I think this can become enough of a habit that we can take more in of the world at a glance.

So why is it important to be aware? Well for self defense is one obvious reason. Pretty much any martial arts school you attend will teach you that being aware is the first line of self defense. The more aware we are of our surroundings, the less likely we will be surprised to find ourselves in a bad situation. 

Often we get nagging feelings when something isn’t right yet we eithe tune them out or let our intellect talk us out of heeding that inner voice. But that is a whole nother topic isn’t it? Tuning into that little voice often called intuition. Look for more on that topic in the future.

We hear about people dying needlessly everyday but I was truly taken aback to read a story in the newspaper today about a temporary Walmart employee being trampled to death by the Black Friday shopping crowd out in Long Island, NY.

Apparently, these shoppers were so hungry for their bargains that they actually broke down the doors of the store and trampled this maintenance worker. I wonder if the following day or on Christmas morning these shoppers will look at around at all their worldly goods and feel it was worth it? Knowing that a 34 year old man’s life was traded for what exactly? A video game? A new coat? A Hannah Montana doll?

What was it that caused these people to cast all sense of humanity aside and knock this man to the ground? The scene was later described by police as “utter chaos” and employees said the customers were “acting like savages”. Even after it was announced that they must leave because an employee was killed, it is reported that people were yelling in protest saying that they were on line since yesterday. These people wanted to keep shopping!!

If this is not one of the most saddest commentaries of how greed and want have taken over our society today, I’m not sure what is.  I honestly believe that if more people were exposed to traditional martial arts education where things like self control, patience, awareness and meditation are taught and valued over things like material things and a “me first” mentality something like this would not have taken place.

Rather than getting caught up in the chaos and frenzy, people would have the clarity of thought to recognize the fact that the acquisition of things does not equate with true happiness. Our value in this society cannot be measured by the amount of stuff we have. A clear mind would not have not been so easily seduced.

Just imagine for a moment the reaction of family getting the phone call being told that their loved one died in a throng of people out to get a “bargain”.  Such an avoidable, senseless death.  It saddens me to think of what kind of holiday season they will be having this year and each one following.

If there is growth to be had in face of tragedy, then one can only hope that this event and the attention it receives will serve as a giant wake up call. 

I see the economic situation we are in as just that. A wake up call. Our society is led astray. We are placing too much value and time on the wrong things. I am hoping that this distress will eventually lead to a shift of consciousness. As our material possessions get stripped away we will be forced to realize what is truly important and that it is not found on the shelves of a store.

Helping us to look within -that is what martial arts training at its best is really about. It provides each of us with a road map. It points us to the areas where we need to work on ourselves. In doing so, we benefit everyone around us.

I think there is a time when everyone who takes martial arts feels discouraged. I think there is a time in everyone’s LIFE when they feel discouraged over one thing or another. If you haven’t felt that way yet, don’t worry you will. Probably many times over.

Let’s say you consistently show up for your martial arts classes (or fill in the blank here - your job, your relationship, tennis lesson, whatever), you try hard and still you just can’t seem to get it right. Or, maybe, you are sparring and feeling a bit beat up by those who are higher in rank, faster, younger or who just naturally seem to “get it”. Maybe you sense that your teacher (mother, father, employer etc) is not pleased with your progress. Perhaps, and for some this is worse, you haven’t been asked to test for the next level yet others, who are your juniors, are being promoted (in rank or to the job you wanted..you get the picture).

Whatever your own personal reasons are for feeling discouraged, what do you do when the going gets tough? Do you give up? Shed a few tears? Stomp your feet and ask yourself who needs the stress and aggravation of it all anyway? Well, may be tempting at times to do one or even all those things.

Before you get ready to up and quit your martial arts practice (or job, relationship, tennis lessons etc.) you might want to pause and reflect a bit. At least I find that it has always helped me in handling those periods of being discouraged. You know those times when you can’t seem to get anything “right”.

I think about something I heard my teacher once say. He was speaking with us at the end of a class and mentioned that a student had recently demonstrated something they had been doing for awhile (some simple breathing exercises - nothing complex) that I gathered did not too closely resemble what had been taught. 

 My teacher then asked what I thought was ultimately a pretty profound question and one that has stuck with me ever since. He asked “Where was the sincerity in this student’s practice?” Then he asked us, “How sincere are you in your practice?”

For me that was one of those “stop and look in the mirror moments.” One that I knew I needed to file away for future reference. Slide it out of my back pocket at the appropriate time and have a good long look. 

When I start to feel down about my martial arts training I ask myself that question. How sincere am I being in my practice? How many hours have I been practicing per week lately?  When I was practicing was it good, focused practice or was my mind all over the place? How good has my focus been while in my kung fu class? Was I really a hundred percent there when something was being said or demonstrated to me that I couldn’t seem to grasp?

Often, the answer comes back fairly clear that I could be doing more for myself. Why should I expect to “get it” if I am not giving it all of the time and effort I know it requires? Being honest with yourself isn’t always fun but I’m thinking it is necessary if you are serious about what you have invested all that time and effort in. Let’s face it, it is easier to limp off into the corner to lick your wounds all while  mumbling to yourself that no one understands you or the challenges that you face. 

But you know what I’m slowly finding out? EVERYONE has their challenges. Some you can see, some are well hidden… but everyone’s got them. The difference being is whether or not you let those act as excuses or if you are going to do your damnest to overcome them. 

During those moments of self examination, I remind myself of all the reasons I practice in the first place -the primary one being to improve my health.  When I keep that at the forefront of my mind it becomes much easier to pick myself back up and keep things in perspective.  After all, I’m not there to be the next female Bruce Lee. I’m there to try to do the best I can while getting the most out of the practice. 

A little honesty and self reflection can go a long way to helping you hang in there. So when you are feeling discouraged or are thinking about quitting… try stopping a moment and slide out that mirror.

Sincerity