Each week at my kung fu school, my teacher conducts weekly lectures that are referred to as meditation class because at the end of the talk we sit and meditate for about 15 minutes.  Sometimes we ask questions during these talks and recently one came up about how can meditation help you deal with recovery from alcoholism. Apparently, meditation is part of the 12 step AA program which I hadn’t realized.  Interesting.

It got me thinking about my own former addiction with cigarrettes. Almost 10 years ago I used smoke about a pack a day for more years than I care to recall.  I was really addicted both physically and mentally to those damn cigarettes. Then one day I found myself getting up from dinner out with friends so I could go outside and have my smoke. More and more that was happening as people were really starting to frown on smoking even when sitting in a smoking section if there was one.  So it didn’t matter if it was 20 degrees outside - out I would go disrupting a nice little get together to feed my addiction. Looking back my non smoking friends must have thought me ridiculous. Or ridiculously weak. What woke me up though was the fact that I realized cigarrettes were in control of me - they were the boss. I was a slave to my addiction. That is when I made up my mind to stop. Of course, I knew it was bad for my health and that was always in my guilty mind as I puffed away but that is what an addiction typically is isn’t it? Doing something despite the fact that you know it is harmful to you and doing it anyway.

So I quit and it was HARD. Really hard. I couldn’t imagine getting through the day much less the rest of my life without cigarettes. So I took it literally one minute at a time. When I got the urge to smoke, I delayed that feeling by exercising.  Often I would find that if I could delay the urge and put my mind on something else, it would pass. I was also replacing a bad habit with a good one. When I couldn’t exercise because I was at work, for example, I constantly had a bottle of water at my side and I drank tons of it. I actually lost weight instead of gaining it. This brought me into a whole new healthier life style and about a month later I took my first martial arts class and that was truly the end of my addiction.

You see now I was this person who was fit and health minded. Now I was amongst people who strived for self discipline not self indulgence. I became someone very different from the smoker I used to be. I quit and stayed quit, unlike my husband who did not make lifestyle changes, and slipped back a number of times. To this day, he still craves a smoke sometimes. I can honestly say I never even think about it.

Certainly, my kung fu classes helped because on a very basic level I would not have been able to keep up if I was still puffing away and I really wanted to do my best.  However, back then I didn’t meditate much and had I had this tool as well I know it would have really helped. Meditation helps train your mind to be in more control over your thoughts - exactly what the addicted person needs to stay off the drugs, alchohol whatever once the physical cravings have passed.  Sitting in meditation and working through those urges by focusing on the breath would been another way to work through those urges until they no longer held the same power. My breathing exercises also showed me how much damage had been done and how much rebuilding was necessary.

Martial arts can be helpful on so many unexpected levels. I really admire the woman who had the courage to ask the question in class and I immediately had a deep respect for the transformation she is clearly working towards undergoing. I have little doubt that her chances for success are greatly increased thanks to her martial arts training. Good for her!

Have you kicked an addiction? If so, how did you do it? Please share your story.

I just read an article about why it can be intimidating for people to go to the gym. The main gist of it was that people concerned that they don’t look fit enough or hot enough to work out in front of others. Particularly those of the opposite sex.  There is also some fear of trying to go in and use equipment you are unfamiliar with and either making a fool of yourself or actually injuring yourself because you don’t know how to use it properly.

Thinking about this makes me feel gratitude for my own situation.  My martial arts classes include both men and women but there are none of those concerns. First off, we all dress in uniform and a not so flattering one at that which is a good thing. It is designed to allow for freedom of movement and not show off any body parts as the clothes are pretty loose.  This I’m sure is no accident. This helps everyone stay focused on the class and not on one another.  Probably more of an issue at beginner level where you may have some students come in that do not realize that the kung fu taught at my school is all about focusing on the practice itself.

So I can walk into a room where I am occasionally the only woman in the class, and not worry about any of that. I don’t think they see me as “a woman” per se as much as they see me as just another person there for similar reasons to their own.  I don’t have to worry about what I look like which is very freeing. I also don’t have to worry about using any complex equipment - other than trying to get my own body to do what I ask of it! :)  

We also either always have my teacher in the room or another instructor who will make a correction if you are doing something wrong particularly if it could result in injury. So no worries there.

When it comes to things like sparring, I like the fact that I don’t feel like my male counterparts make allowances based on my gender. I would hate to be in a class where I felt I was being given special compensation or condescended to based on the fact that I am a woman.

This may not be everyone’s experience in their martial arts school but if your class is all about flirting, big egos or if you find that your instructor or classmates patronize you because you are female, then you might want to take a walk and find yourself another school quickly because it doesn’t have to be that way.

The truth is you will never find me at a gym. It is not my thing at all. I signed once many years ago and it is one of the very few things I ever signed up for that I didn’t pursue. My martial arts training gives me a great workout. I am sweaty, exhausted and often feel great after a good, hard class. It helps train flexiblity, coordination, strength, balance, endurance, cardio, focus, awareness and so forth.  I don’t need more than that and I certainly don’t need the extra baggage of worrying about if I look good in my work out attire.

Now, I’m sorry ladies if some of you who love the gym disagree. That is fine and I encourage you to speak up if you do!  After all, if we all thought identically what a boring world this would be.

Granted, some women gravitate towards all female classes to avoid some of these issues. But I still won’t be joining the gym.  The mental training, the personal growth aspects coupled with the physical benefits of my martial arts practice is simply unmatched by any other activity that I’ve tried. 

So, I’m not really saying one is better than the other because we are all different and. I suppose what it really comes down to what you are really looking to get out of it. I will say this though, for me my martial arts classes will get my vote every time, hands down.

First, just a little background on this post. I was glancing through some past posts and something struck me,  something that has bothered me about this blog of mine right from the start. You see when I began this little writing venture I knew I had taken the easy way out when describing my foray into the martial arts.  I just sort of glossed over it because I guess I wasn’t that comfortable with the idea of being too upfront.

So before I go onto other subjects. I’m going to fix that and come clean.  Maybe this is needed to better understand why I have embraced the practice to the degree I have and maybe it is needed so I let go of some of that ego. Little bits at a time.  Most of all though, I hope it helps some other women out there who feel like I did and think there is little hope or no help. I want to tell you there is nothing like helping yourself.

I had originally said I never had any real desire to take martial arts growing up. Well that is true because I had probably little or not exposure to it. Then one day I read a book that described a women doing T’ai Chi. The description of the movements were so beautiful, fluid and graceful I thought to myself “I want to learn how to do that.”  Pretty dull confession so far I know. Hang in there it gets more interesting I promise. 

Well I did not immediately act on it but I kept that imagery with me. Then one day when I had one too many days of not feeling well. I mean I felt like crap. I was getting these strange pains throughout my body, I felt tired and sick.  I finally got diagnosed with something called fibromyalgia (I mention this strictly because some other women might relate - I do not categorize myself because of it) and when I asked what I could do to start feeling better the doctor shrugged said there wasn’t much I could do there is no “cure”. He took out his little perscription pad and offered me no solution other than to pop a pill in my mouth. For how long I wondered? Forever? Thanks doc - but no thanks. I got up and left. He looked a bit pissed. I didn’t care. 

You see I was in my early thirties and at the time and the idea of popping pills for the rest of my life just didn’t do it for me. So I got in my car and thought long and hard. You see this was about the 3rd of 4th doctor and still no relief in sight.  What was I going to do?  One thing was clear - what I tried so far wasn’t the answer. I spoke with my sister and all I can say is thank goodness for her. She mentioned she knew someone who tried alternative medicine and it helped. Hmmm…  the idea of natural remedies was definitely more appealing. I didn’t waste any time. That day I was started looking around for someone who practiced natural medicine. I ended up at a place that I quickly deemed an elaborate money making operation that preyed upon people like me.  Another dead end.

So things weren’t looking so good. Then I remembered that book I read. I remembered reading T’ai Chi was supposed to good to alleviate stress and I was feeling plenty of that.  Figuring I had nothing to lose I went on line and found a martial arts school that taught Tai Chi.  I took my first lesson that very same day. I  really enjoyed the class. After about 4 or 6 months I began taking kung fu classes at my teacher’s suggestion. He thought it would be good for me to go out there and really exert myself, let go and sweat. 

Back to that first kung fu class. I have to tell you the thought of trying it made me nervous. Who wants to risk making a fool out of him or herself?  But then I thought I can’t let a lack of confidence or a fear of failure stop me from something that might be really great experience.  What if it turns out to be really good for me or something I really love?  So I took my first class and I was hooked right from the start.

That was nearly 10 years ago now and I can’t think of too many other decisions that I made in my life that had such a positive impact on my life.