Happy Holidays to you!

Another year has nearly come to an end. Like many of you, I can’t help but look back and do a little reflecting. Was it a good year? A bad one? I try not to put things into neat little categories so much anymore.  Nothing is really ever that black and white anyway is it?

I look back at the year gone by and see growth. All sorts of seeds have been sown by all of us. Some of those seeds are going to sprout weeds and some of them beautiful flowers.  It think we probably need some weeds so we can appreciate the flowers.

I also see patterns repeating. Maybe some details have changed but in essence unless we truly have changed something inside of ourselves we seem to have recurring themes in our lives. Have you ever noticed that? My teacher would say we keep having an experience until we no longer need to be having it.

There is little point to reflecting on the year gone by unless it is to take stock to help give us direction going forward. Goal setting is good. But only if we stay true to the course.  We won’t necessarily achieve every one of our goals because life inevitably will throw us a few curve balls along the way but developing the self discipline to try to follow through as best we are able is part of what our martial arts training is all about - as is being able to “be like water” and adapt to change as needed.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a quick shout out to Lucy Wiggins. I hope all goes well in your new endeavor into kung fu.

Think you are aware of what is going on? It’s so easy not to pay attention to what is going on around us -but why? Well, first of all it takes focus to be aware. You cannot be lost in your own thoughts and be truly paying attention to everything going on around you.  Secondly I think, depending on where you live, we are lulled into a false sense of security. Generally speaking, most of us can walk around or drive somewhere in our car and expect to arrive at our destination safely. Yet, it is easy to miss something if we aren’t paying attention and how keen your awareness skills are can make a real difference. After all, we all know that life can change in an instant. Best to keep your wits about you. 

So how aware are you? Think you are pretty good? Why not check out this video for a minute and take a the  Awareness Test  then come right back and let me know how you did.

Kind of fun right? Part of being aware of your surrounding is the ability to see all but not focus on any one thing in particular. I find that for me to do this takes real focus. Our tendency seems to be to look at specific things yet with time I think this can become enough of a habit that we can take more in of the world at a glance.

So why is it important to be aware? Well for self defense is one obvious reason. Pretty much any martial arts school you attend will teach you that being aware is the first line of self defense. The more aware we are of our surroundings, the less likely we will be surprised to find ourselves in a bad situation. 

Often we get nagging feelings when something isn’t right yet we eithe tune them out or let our intellect talk us out of heeding that inner voice. But that is a whole nother topic isn’t it? Tuning into that little voice often called intuition. Look for more on that topic in the future.

Sometimes when I saw people younger than myself in class, particularly someone who I know started taking martial arts as a child, I would think how lucky they were to have begun training their bodies at such a young age. I would reflect on the fact that if I were younger, I too would be a little faster, stronger and more flexible. 

Yet, recently I am realizing there is a flip side to all of that. I think because I did start at an older age (in my thirties), that I did have something working in my favor. I had the maturity to appreciate the practice at a level that I might not if I had joined at a much younger age. I can listen the philosophy behind the martial arts and I am easily able to see it can help me in my everyday life partially because I can draw upon my own pool of experiences. I have had the great fortune to have enough mistakes under my belt that I can step back and see what areas I need to work on in my life.  Those years reveal patterns in my thinking and actions making it easy to clearly what behavior has served me well and what has not.

I have some people at my place of dojang who are many years senior to me in age and let me tell you, every one of them is an inspiration and an example to the rest of us.  I don’t think there is an age where you are too old for martial arts.  I just think the experience you will have will just be different.  No doubt, due to their more advanced age, there are some unique frustrations and bodily limitations, but just think of the wealth of life experience those people can bring into their practice!

If I am ever in need of some martial arts inspiration, I only need to look to those people at my dojang who are practicing in their fifties, sixties and even seventies. I am both humbled and grateful to be practicing with them.

How do we live a life with no regrets?

Do we try to live a life free of mistakes? Impossible. We will make them. No question. To err is human and all that.  

I think it has to do with giving 100% to whatever you do. Those times when I know I’ve truly done that are some of my best moments in my life. Even if things don’t turn out just as you hoped at least you know did all you could.  Maybe you are testing for the next level. Rather than focusing on that next promotion in whatever discipline of martial arts you practice, what if your only thought was to go full out? Then you know, at the end as you sit there sweaty and exhausted you did what you could. The rest won’t matter so much.  Even if you don’t pass…what more could you have done? 

Yet people tend to get complacent. Seems it is just human nature to take the people and things in our lives that are seemingly constant and take them for granted. It takes awareness and self discpline not to just go through our days like little robots. Always expecting to get a second chance at it all the next day.

I remember when my father died after being diagnosed with cancer only 2 weeks before. I looked back at my time with him and thought…I am so glad that he knew just how much I loved him.  By the same token, I knew how much he loved me. I remember him saying to me towards the end “I should have told you I loved you more often.” I said “Dad, you told me everyday - you just didn’t always use words.”  I knew the same was true of me - I may not have said it all the time but I showed it in many ways. I had no regrets on that one - I appreciated him while he was alive and was not plagued with “I should haves”. And that was something that got me through a very difficult time.

So what is the cure for regret? What is the antedote? Just go all out each and every day. Appreciate the people in your life.  Show them you love them. Smile at strangers in the elevators and make their day a little nicer fo having passed through with you even for a few moments.

Look around you. Notice things, feel them, listen to them, taste them and embrace them. It is all we can do. We can’t go back and change what has already happened and we can’t control what is going to happen so we might as well get all we can out of this very moment. 

And one day, we hopefully we will look back and say whatever happened…I truly lived.  No regrets.

1. I sometimes will change into my uniform or at least a part of it like the pants to try to put me in the frame of mind simiar to when I am at class. It’s sort of like taking off your fuzzy slippers and bathrobe and putting on something decent to sit down and work from home.
2. I do laundry or clean the bathroom. Practicing quickly starts to look better and better.
3. I put on a little ”Kung Fu Fighting.”  Well no…not really. In fact, I really can’t stand that song but figured you’d be expecting that one and didn’t want to disappoint.
4. I make a deal with myself just to get my warm ups done. Once I’ve finished, that usually is enough to get things going even on low energy days to get some additional practice time in.
5. If I really am not up for practicing physically (injured, really sore, sick whatever) I use some of the time I would have spent physically practicing on doing some extra mental side like meditating or visualizing. In fact, visualizing yourself going through a form or something that you find difficult and picturing yourself doing it well can be quite helpful. Scientific studies show that going through these “mental gymnastics” actually cause the same muscles to fire as if you were actually doing the activity.

Basically, on those days when you are just not in the mood are the days where you also get practice some self discipline by doing it anyway. Easier said then done but if you wanted easy - well this aint’ it.

What do you do when you know you should practice but just aren’t in the mood?